


Why Am I Here?

by Kivanfangirl



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Zexion / OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 04:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16078310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kivanfangirl/pseuds/Kivanfangirl
Summary: ZexionXOC romance. Sarah was an average seventeen-year-old girl that lived in Twilight Town. She had friends that she talked with at school and a loving family. Everything seemed fine until a rainy night during Summer break. Read for more info.Originally posted on fanfiction.net. Reposted here with revisions and additions to several chapters.





	1. Out of the Light and Into the Darkness

Sarah was an average seventeen-year-old girl that lived in Twilight Town. Though she was homeschooled due to social anxiety and had a loving family, she seemed happy. Everything seemed fine until a rainy night during summer break…

Shadowed figures roam the streets; searching for defenseless people with strong hearts. Anyone who was unfortunate to be caught in their path was killed without a second thought. The leader of the Shadows calls the group to stop for a minute as he senses a pure heart inside a building with two lights on. They all nod in unison and head towards the house. They all take their forms into small puddles and creep under the doorway, unheard and unseen to all.

Inside the home, two adults sat on a couch speaking to each other and unaware of the coming danger. The Shadows attack them quickly, taking their hearts floating midair empowering them as they feel the source of the pure heart coming closer. They fell to the ground quickly with no way to defend themselves the attack too quick for them even to retaliate. A female voice echoed from the floor above and the Shadows froze a moment as the female called, "Mom? Dad? Are you guys still home?"

The voice coming closer, the Shadows hide in the corners of the room so that they were unnoticed as they watched a girl with green eyes, short black hair wearing army pants and a white t-shirt comes down a flight of stairs, looking for her parents. She looked around the room curiously wondering where they had gone since she was sure that they had come home just a short while ago. As she walked around, pink feathered wings slowly started to become visible over her shoulders -- unknown to the the young lady who searched for her parents.

"Mom? Dad?" Sarah asked worried aloud as all she saw was a dimly lit living room.

The Shadows looked at her closely and notice that it was her that had the pure heart. They slowly creep behind her as they sensed her heart beat quickly. Now was the time to strike; when the heart is racing quickly. They pounced on her quickly and dragged her to the ground as the girl fell to the ground screaming in terror as shadows overtook her pulling her into its darkness. All she could feel was the darkness surrounding her and a part of her being ripped apart from her. Her eyes were forced to close, her mind blacked out.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She woke up with a slight headache in a white bedroom. She tried to sit up but froze for a minute as she noticed that her clothes had changed. All she was wearing was a black cloak, gloves, boots, pants, and even a black shirt. Black feathered wings hung around her shoulders, shifting as she did. She held her head with both hands and tried to think about what happened to her. One minute she was looking for her parents the next she was here but, something was missing, something had happened after that but all she could seem to remember was darkness. What was it?

A knock sounded at the door but she ignored it, continuing to glare at the floor and try to figure out what had happened to her. She ignored whoever it was as the door opened and a cloaked figure walked into the room as it spoke in a male voice, "Well, well…looks like you're finally up, kid. How are you feeling?"

She looked up at the hooded figure in the doorway and placed her hands on her lap as she said slowly, "I feel…confused." For some reason, it felt difficult to say anything at all. As if there was a weight on her chest holding her down.

The figure crossed his arms and nodded in affirmation. "I figured that you would be. Most newbie's feel confused when they first become Nobodies."

She tilted her head a little questioned, "No…bodies?"

The figure walked in front of her and took off his hood. She saw a guy with long black and white hair, an eye patch around his left eye and a scar across his right cheek. He gave her his right hand with a smile, "My name's Xigbar. Welcome to the Organization, kiddo!"

She shyly placed her hand in his and he shook her hand taking his other hand ruffled her hair said, "Come with me and everything will be explained, kid."

"But…w-where are my parents?"

Xigbar sighed and crossed his arms again. "Sorry to tell this to you but they aren't alive anymore. They were consumed by the darkness. You were lucky enough to have at least half of you survive."

The girl jumped off her bed and ran to the window as Xigbar watched her curiously asked, "What are you doing, kid?"

She didn't answer him. Instead, she climbed over a table and opened the window. Xigbar walked behind her shaking his head. She glanced down and saw that she was at least twelve stories high. A cool breeze passed by her as she looked down into the shadowy night. A dizzy feeling hazed over her head as she braced herself against the frame of the window was jerked from her viewing by a voice, "It's a pretty long way down there. I wouldn't advise you jumping down there unless you wanted to kill yourself."

She took one glance at him and released the frame. Closing her eyes, she walked forward into the night air, expecting for her life to end and to hit the ground hard with her lifeless body, she spread her arms out at either side of her feeling the air sweeping pass her furiously as it signaled her falling to the ground below. Her wings expanded on their own as she plumited several thousand feet, gluiding. However, instead of a hard landing, she felt someone holding her tightly. She opened her eyes and saw a guy with deep blue eyes, slate hair that hung over to the right side of his face. Her wings had recoiled back into her sides as she was held like a wounded animal in his arms.

He shifted a moment as he tilted his head at her. "Well this is unexpected. Hello to you too."

The eye contact was making her uncomfortable. She wasn't used to being close to strangers and this was just jumping too far out of her box of comfort. Paranoid, she quickly struggled to turn and jump out of his arms. As she ran away from him into the empty streets, he tilted his head in confusion. 

Xigbar appeared in front of Zexion, looking around. "Hey, Zexion. Have you seen a kid around here? She has short black hair and green eyes, black wings. Hard to miss."

He nodded replying, "In fact, I caught the girl from falling from the castle. She seems a little distracted."

"Ugh, newbie. After Axel and Roxas finished their mission in Twighlight Town; they found a small horde of Heartless surrounding one of the nearby homes. When they went in to investigate and took care of all the Heartless, they only found that girl."

Zexion contemplated to himself as he crossed his arms talked mostly to himself, "They must have sensed something in her for her to turn into a Nobody then."

Xigbar nodded in agreement, "Yeah…but the boss wants to meet her so I need to get her back ASAP."

Zexion nodded to him and moved to the side, pointed, "She went that way."

"Thanks, Zexion. We should be having a meeting soon so be ready."

"Understood," with that, Xigbar created a portal and left the area as Zexion also created his own portal and left as well.

She ran as fast as her feet would let her legs go, her muscles screaming in protest to the vigorous pace that she was keeping up. With her eyes shut tightly, she charged into the unknown city with visible tears in her eyes opened them for a moment to look for something. After spotting a cliff, she made a jump for it but ran into a portal of darkness instead. She fell on her hands and knees in another white room but, this room was far larger than hers. When she got up, she saw other cloaked figures in tall white chairs. Some of them had their hoods down, while others were still up.

The one named Xigbar gives her a smile and shakes his head. "You should know better than to run off like that, kid. Bad things might happen to you if you don't follow the rules."

The girl looks to the ground sadly. She wanted, more than anything, to die at that moment. If her parents were gone, then what was there to return home to? Was there even a home to return to? What happened to her? Why her?

All these thoughts were flowing through her mind as all the members took a look at her. A loud booming voice from the one they called "The Superior", began speaking to her.

"So child, do you remember your name?"

She looked up at the hooded figure terrified stuttered, "M-my…name?"

He nodded to her.

"S...Sarah?"

The Superior shakes his head disapprovingly. "That name will not suffice. You are a Nobody now," raising his arms outwardly explained, "You are part of our family now… Number XV. Xharas. I look forward into knowing how you will help our cause."

With that, he disappeared into a black portal, along with some of the other members. All left her accept Xigbar, Luxord, Axel, Roxas, Demyx and Zexion. Axel looks to Xharas with a concerned look asked, "Hey, are you ok?"

She looked to the ground sadly and shook her head. Axel rubbing the back of his head nervously continued, "Man, this girl is more of a zombie than you Roxas."

"Rude...I see how it is." The blonde crossed his arms as he disappeared into a portal of darkness.

Axel rolled his eyes and left as well seeing that he was not going to get anywhere. Demyx gave the girl a small wave but she just gave him a blank stare, shrugged his shoulders and looked to the other two gentlemen in the room.

"Hey, it was worth a shot." He then also left the room.

Luxord teleported next to the girl and handed her a pair of black cards with a slight smile. "If you ever become bored here, you are more than welcomed to visit me in my room for a game of cards. Who knows, it might be your lucky day," giving her a wink before he disappeared into a black portal.

She looked down at the cards and saw red hearts with a black line crossed over them was drawn from her observing by a light pat on her shoulder looked to the side to see Xigbar.

"C'mon kido. I've gotta show you around now. Follow me."

She looked up and around to find the guy who caught her but found that he was gone. 'I guess he left. He probably has more important things to do anyways.' Turning around, she followed Xigbar into his portal.


	2. Home Sweet Loneliness

Xharas took a deep breath after stepping out of Xigbar's portal. The darkness that had surrounded her felt as if it was ripping her apart from the inside out. She held onto her knees tightly while trying to catch her breath.

Xigbar shook his head with a smile."Come on, there's a lot that I've got to show ya' and we don't have all day."

She looked up at him and slowly stood up straight. He led her up a high staircase and into a small hallway. Once they reached the top he looked back at her and waved a hand over to her.

"Let's take a look at the top floor, shall we?"

She just gave him a blank stare and followed him slowly. Everywhere, she could see doors with roman numbers on them. Passing each room gave her some sort of bad feeling like she shouldn't be there. She looked around her, to make sure no one was following. Xigbar's voice snapped her out of her paranoia as he said, "This is the dorm hall. We'll be coming back here later."

He looked behind him to look at Xharas and saw that she looked worried about something. He shook his head shrugging off her reaction to the hall. Continuing down the hallway, they passed rooms with clear windows spoke, "This is the lab. I don't see you coming into here any time soon but if you do, I'll be the first to know."

She tilted her head to the side in confusion, not understanding why she would have to go into a lab for anything. Xigbar caught the hint and crossed his arms to explain, "I'm not quite sure why you'd go in there either but when I do know I'll tell you, ok?"

She gave him a slight nod and they continued down the white hallway. They went by a few more empty rooms and a library with double doors. Stopping by the library doors, Xigbar turned to her, "This is the library here. You're welcomed to come in here whenever you want to but, you have to be escorted around the castle until you get the hang of the place. So just whoever your escort is, ask them to take you here, if you want. Trust me, it took me a few days to know where EVERY room was and still stay sane."

Xharas gave him a small smile and followed him as he opened one of the double doors for her. She became mesmerized by the number of bookshelves that had books pilling over each other. With over twelve rows of four shelves on each side of the room, she had an urge to go by one and take out a book but decided against it. Following Xigbar into a reading area with chairs and tables, she saw the same guy with dark bluish-gray hair sitting at a table reading. Xigbar gave her an evil grin. He slowly crept up behind him and clapped really loudly above his head. The guy quickly dropped his book shocked and turned around angrily snapped at the man, "What the hell, Xigbar?! That was completely uncalled for! Ugh! Now you've made me lose my place in my book, Damnit."

Xigbar laughed loudly, holding his sides tightly, gasped out, "You should've seen your face! It looked so damn funny!"

Zexion gave him a dirty look as Xharas stood to the side shyly not knowing really what to do or say considering the only time she had met him was when she was trying to kill herself. After Xigbar recovered from his laughing fit, he turned to Xharas, pointing to Zexion with a smile on his face, "This little shrimp here is Zexion. He's a bit of a bookworm and one of the dullest members of the Organization."

Zexion gave him another dirty look for the comment and replied, "Being a bookworm is not always a bad thing, you know and I'm not boring…I just don't like talking to ignorant people like you."

Xigbar shook his head sadly, "Yikes, that was low."

Xharas giggled a little at the two's playful sniping of one another and both gentlemen looked over to her and saw her covering her mouth with one hand while giggling. Xigbar rose an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms asked, "Do you find something funny?"

She shook her head with a slight grin and looked around the room only to see a black portal appear to her right and someone with dark blue hair and a scar in the form of an 'X' between his eyes. He glanced over at her and then looked over to Xigbar said, "Ah, Xigbar. Just the person I was looking for. The Superior wants to see you, now. It'll be quick."

Xigbar nodded."Sure thing, Saix." looking over to Zexion asked, "Could you keep an eye on her until I get back?"

Zexion shrugged his shoulders, replied, "Sure."

Xigbar walked up to her and patted her shoulder, "Don't have fun without me, ok?"

He made a portal appear in front of him and left with Saix following behind him. Xharas looked to the ground nervously, unsure what she should do. Zexion turned around in his chair and saw her looking into the carpet. He pulls a chair out next to him and turned back to her, "Hey, did you want to sit down or do you plan on standing around all day?"

She quickly looked up at him and walked by his table. She sat in the chair and looked down sadly. Zexion stared at her for a minute and shook his head. Deciding not to say anything to her, he picked up his book and looked for the place where he had been before he was rudely interrupted. Xharas glances up at Zexion and noticed what book he was reading. She smiled to herself. It was one of her favorite Shakespeare plays, MacBeth.

"That's a really good story. Have you read it already?" she asked softly.

Zexion looked up from his book and folded the page he was on with a sigh not wanting to lose where he was a second time, "Yes, I've read it already."

She gave him a nodded continuing, "I usually don't like Shakespeare but that one is rather interesting because of the different changes that MacBeth went through." She shook her head sadly continuing, "It's a shame how much someone will do just to gain power. It does more damage than good and innocent people are always caught in the crossfire."

He nodded in agreement, replying, "True, but sometimes that power could be used to help others than to harm them. It all depends who has it and what they do with it."

She looked down and thought to herself before replying back, "I guess you're right. Like they say, 'keep your friends close but your enemies' closer.' "

Zexion crossed his arms and smiled "You have no idea how true that statement is, Xharas. You've been brought into a place where there is inner conflict within our own ranks. Sadly, you must pick and chose who you trust most."

She nodded and gave him a small smile. "Ok. Thanks." Then she looked back down sadly.

Zexion took this as a chance to talk to her a little and leaned on the table one hand supporting his face as he asked, "If you would indulge me,…why did you jump out of that window earlier?"

She looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders, "I suppose, after learning what happened to my parents, I couldn't live with the fact that they are gone, I guess. I'm still afraid to keep on living alone, without someone to love you and comfort you when everything seems to go all wrong."

He could tell that her experience before turning into a Nobody was traumatizing. She might not have a heart, much like himself, but that didn't mean neither of them remembered what it was like. Zexion placed a hand over Xharas' comforted in his own way, "You're welcomed to come in here anytime. I'm usually in here if I'm not out on a mission."

It was an indirect invitation to talk to him but she accepted it nonetheless. She gave him a slight smile as a deep blush formed over her pale cheeks.

Zexion tilted his head at her. "That's an interesting wingspan you have there. I believe it would be safe to say that you are the first member here to have wings. Not exactly a bad thing, of course. Every Organization member here has a specific talent. For example; I am a tactician and an illusionist. Xigbar is known for recruiting, training and controls space. He can defy gravity and use that to his advantage. Unfortunately, he knows that and abuses that knowledge. Still.." there was a thoughtful pause as he studied her, watching her wings tuck within themselves as she leaned against the chair. "..I wonder what sort of abilities you will have. "

Xharas rubbed the back of her head, looking away from him for a moment. "I-I doubt I am anything special but thank you."

A black portal appeared next to the table and Xigbar appeared from it."I didn't miss anything, did I?"

Zexion sat up and shook his head. "No. We just talked."

Xigbar crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side with a smirk on his face drawled, "Oh really? I think I did miss something here."

Zexion just shook his head rolling his eyes unnoticed and went back to his book as Xharas looked to the side embarrassed. Xigbar looked at the scene and shook his head having a good idea of what might have happened but decided to comment another time considering how closed off they were said, "Riiight. Well, in case you were wondering why I was called…"

"Which we don't," Zexion interjected as he flipped a page, Xigbar glared at Zexion. Xharas giggled a little looking at Zexion as he winked at her. Another blush crept on her cheeks as she looked at him wondering what this feeling was that came about her with this male.

"Well anyways, before I was rudely interrupted…" glaring at Zexion, continued, "The Superior has placed you, Zexion, and me in charge of escorting the newbie until she has the hang of the place. Lexaeus and Saix are going to be her guards to her room."

She tilted her head in confusion" Why do I-I need someone to guard my room?"

Zexion looked over to her his eyes peering over from his book explained," Do you remember what I told you?" She nodded her head 'yes', he continued, "Yeah, that's why. We don't want to take any chances."

Feeling a bit embarrassed for not remembering as a light pink overtook her cheeks murmured softly, "Oh…ok."

He went back to his book said, "Well that's fine, Xigbar. Who got the first shift?"

Smirking wondering if he would get a reaction from the grey-haired man said airily, "You do."

He shrugged his shoulders" Ok. Now, can you leave me alone now? I'm rather busy right now."

"Heh, yeah. Let's go,Xharas. The nerd wants some 'alone time' with his book." he said with air quotes as Zexion looked again over the book eyes narrowed, "You know, I am still here Xigbar. Do you mind leaving before I throw my book at you?"

Xigbar held his hands out defensively "Hey there, no need to get violent here."

Zexion quickly closed his book and tossed it with the book spine hitting Xigbar's face, who shouted loudly, "OW! That hurt!"

Zexion crossed his arms with his eyes closed "That wouldn't happen if you kept your comments to yourself. Now go away." he said calmly.

"FINE! Be that way, brat. I'll see you outside kid." Xigbar said rubbing the side of his face from almost being impaled by the book, walking out the library cursing under his breath.

After Xigbar left the room, Xharas got up and picked up Zexion' book, placed it on the table in front of Zexion and gave him a small smile shyly saying, "See you later, Zexion. It was nice to meet you. Oh and um…"

Zexion opened his eyes and looked at her waiting for her to finish speaking, "Yes, Xharas? What was it that you were going to say?"

She blushed again and looked down shyly, muttered, "Um…thank you for saving me, earlier."

He nodded with a slight smirk on his lips, "You're welcome, Xharas."

She smiled again and left the room to find Xigbar hoping that he hadn't stormed away too far so that she couldn't find him. Zexion watched her leave and went back to his book with a smirk still on his face as he thought, 'Looks like things are going to get more interesting than I thought.'

Xharas walked out into the hallway and met up with Xigbar who luckily hadn't stormed away in a huff like she had feared not wanting to find out what would happen if she had tried to find her way back to her room. Muttering slightly he took her back to her room, which was by two rooms that had the numbers XIII and XI. Laying on her bed with a flop, she hoped to have good dreams and possibly an explanation of whom or what she was.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my fellow readers! So..this story was originally posted on fan fiction .net and since I love my story with these two; I decided that Xharas and Zexion deserved a bit of a revision. So I will be taking all of my old chapters for this story, revising the every loving fluff out of them and posting them for you all to read! I am hoping that once I am done, I will have the motivation to do up the sequel. Hope you all have a lovely day and I'll see ya' around!~  
> \- Kivanfangirl


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